10 WAYS YOU CAN TELL YOUR PILOT IS ON DRUGS
10. All the in-flight meals are missing their dessert squares.
9. In between ‘May I’ and ‘have your attention’ there’s a 45 minute pause.<
8. He’s constantly yelling, ‘Take that, Red Baron!’
7. Shuttle from New York to Boston includes stopover in Columbia.
6. His co-pilot: Robert Downey Jr.
While practicing auto-rotations during a military night training exercise a Huey Cobra screwed up the landing and landed on the tail rotor. The landing was so hard that it broke off the tail boom. However, the chopper fortunately remained upright on its skids, sliding down the runway doing 360s.
As [...]
The Top Twenty Flight Advertising Slogans
1. BadAir: When you just can’t wait for the world to come to you.
2. BadAir: We’re Amtrak with wings.
3. Join our frequent near-miss program.
4. On flights, every section is a smoking section.
5. Ask about our out-of-court settlements.
6. Our staff has had lots of experience counseling next-of-kin.
7. Are [...]
You’ll Know It’s a No-Frills Airline If:
They don’t sell tickets, they sell chances. All the insurance machines in the terminal are sold out. Before the flight, the passengers get together and elect a pilot. If you kiss the wing for luck before boarding, it kisses you back. You cannot board the plane unless [...]
Funny Airplane Maintenance Squawk Replies From Maintenance Crews
“Squawks” are problem listings that pilots generally leave for maintenance crews to fix before the next flight. Here are some squawks submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews.
(P) = Problem (S) = Solution
(P) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement
(S) Almost replaced left inside main tire
[...]
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